I've been so busy I forgot I had this thing. A lot has happened, one of my dogs died from cancer and I was absolutely devastated, my grandma died and we got another dog. I finished my internship and am done with undergrad; now I'm just procrastinating on getting my license. I quit my job (working on-call for the time being) and moving to Chicago in a few weeks or whenever I finally get a job interview. No one wants to hire me and I'm looking for a job that is beneath what I'm qualified for. Maybe that's it. I just don't want to do full-time counseling while in grad school.

I want to take a vacation. Make that need to take a vacation. Sitting at home doing nothing is great, but I'd rather be off somewhere. I'd love to take a month or two and go around Europe. Hell, even just a week or so in a city or two over there, but I have no one to go with. Maybe I should find one of those vacation tour groups online and sign up and just go with a bunch of people I don't know. I feel like those things are a rip-off though, especially when you have to do what the tour does and eat where they eat. I went on one in high school which was fun but I didn't get to do all I wanted. My friends never have any money saved even though we've been planning to take a trip for nearly 4 years now. Otherwise I wouldn't mind spending a week at Disney World. Someplace where I have no responsibility.

Go out and buy Mark Farina's newest cd "House of OM", my friend's (Ben Armstrong) track is the last on the disc.

Quit doing your own thing. It's time to do our thing.

I started my internship to be a Chemical Dependency Counselor. I'm tired as hell all the time but I'm loving it. Between interning and my job, I'm working approximately 76 hours a week in the same building. I'm considering just putting a bed in an empty room and moving in. I need to have 880 hours total. I've been doing this for almost a month and I'm about 1/5 of the way through, which I consider to be pretty good.

The immature idiot I have to work with all the time was sat down by the lead counselor and spoken to about some of the things he says and does with the kids. It's about damn time because I've been trying to talk to him and it goes nowhere. Hopefully he'll listen to someone with more authority than me. It's frustrating because he has no boundaries. He says and does things we wouldn't allow the kids to do and it makes it hard telling the kids they can't do something when a staff person is doing it. My advice for everyone is to never work with someone 22 going on 14.

Three days ago I had my 4 1/2 year anniversary for sobriety. I'm kind of shocked that I've made it this long without drinking or using any drugs. When I look back at what a drugged up coke-and-any-other-drug-head I was, it's really kind of amazing that I'm not dead. With my use I had phases that went from alcohol and pot, to valium all day chased down with a bottle of wine every day for months, to cocaine every day. Throughout all of this I was taking anything else that was put in front of me, often mixing 3 or 4 types of drugs at a time. I think I did almost every drug known to man during my using years. I quit using all narcotics and decided I would just drink. Of course that turned into hiding bottles of gin in my closet so no one else could drink it. I can't even remember how many bottles of gin, wine and beer I was going through a week. Don't really remember much of that time really.

Since I've been sober, I've made it through the deaths of 10 friends and 2 relatives, and a ton of other fucked up shit without touching anything, I'm pretty damn impressed with myself. So, yay me! I do know that I never want to return to my old "life" (its hard to call what I had a life), and I have a constant fear that I will. Sometimes I feel like the only thing that has kept me from using is that I want to be a drug counselor, I work in a treatment center, and I can't do that and use. I think I'll try to make it to an AA or NA meeting sometime in the next week to get back in touch with the program. I owe a lot to the people there and I've only gone sporadically over the past year. It worries me that I sometimes get jealous of people who can drink or get high and be okay. But I know I can't drink or use and be "normal."

I talked to my friend Matt today. It had been a few weeks. He has 67 days of sobriety today. Over the past couple of years I have spent countless hours sitting in ERs with him when he was suicidal, and visiting him at hospitals, treatment centers and halfways houses. This guy was the first person to be tasered by the Minneapolis PD, has a few felonies, spent time in prisons, and should be dead or in prison right now. For the first time since I've met him he seems genuinely happy. So that made my day to hear that he is doing so well.

There's my sappy rambling for the day. Feel free to vomit now.

Today is my birthday and I'm on my way to work. I'm the most exciting person I know.

I went to see Wicked last night. It was soooo good. From commercials I wasn't sure if I'd like the music or not, but I did. Plus it was funny so that's always good. Varied from the book some (at least what I've read up to so far which isn't much). The girl who played Elphaba had an amazing voice. The guy who played Fiyero was fucking hot. That's my pathetic review. I plan on going to see it again.

I just drove back from Chicago. The 6 - 6 1/2 hour drive to Minneapolis turned into 8 hours with traffic and construction. I'm going to bed to get some sleep before I have to go back to work tomorrow. I really don't want to go back.

I'm still in Chicago. I got a co-worker to work for me Wednesday so I can stay two extra days and go see the King Tut exhibit at the Field Museum on Tuesday and see Wicked on Wednesday night.

( Random trip happenings )

Only 3 days till I'm taking a week off and going to CHICAGO! (yay!) for vacation. I love going back to my home city. I'll probably stay with my Grandma because I can't stand the fighting between my cousins at my Aunt and Uncle's house. My cousin is supposed to be getting tickets to Wicked but he hasn't called me back and it's been almost a week. I should just do it myself. My Aunt and Uncle want to go too, which is cool, we'd get discounted seats b/c my Uncle is in a wheelchair.

My other plans while in the city are to hit up a vegan restaurant with my Uncle that he raves about on the Northside. Richard Crowe is doing a tour that weekend and maybe I'll do that if I can get someone to go with me. I'm a dork and I love haunted/supernatural/ghost stuff. I'd also like to go the aquarium or a museum or two. The White Sox are out of town the whole week which I'm really upset about.

But offically I have no plans set and will probably spend the majority of the time doing absolutely nothing and loving it.

I set my VCR to record for the week and realized there is nothing left except House. Maybe that's good since I won't have time for tv this summer.

We made the move at work today. La Douche called me to come in 2 hours early. I get there and he tells me I'm taking 7 guys out on my own and he was going to stay there to work. We get back and absolutely nothing has been done. He's the laziest son of a bitch EVER. I spent from 2-4:15 unpacking and setting up the office, thinking my other co-worker is in another room doing the same. Turns out he was watching a movie the whole time. I wish I had it in me to do absolutely nothing at work and get away with it. I think it may be a guy thing.

My treadmill arrived yesterday! It's sitting in the garage until my brother and Dad can move it inside. The damn thing weighs 217 lbs. The guy who delivered it didn't bring a dolly, so he scooted it about halfway up the driveway and I had to drag it the rest of the way.

I'm making my way through Buffy the Vampire Slayer after hearing about it almost nonstop on TWOP. It's going very slowly because Netflix can't seem to send me the right DVDs. I've been waiting for Season 1 Disc 3, so far they've sent me Disc 2 in the Disc 3 sleeve four times. Today I finally received the right one. I like it so far, not at all what I imagined. I was picturing the movie

L-train and I are going to see Stick It tomorrow. I hope it's as bad as it looks. I'm a sucker for cheesy dance and cheesy teenage movies. My friend Bobby also finally got a cell phone after breaking up with his controlling, recluse girlfriend. I haven't seen him in a year (thanks to her) so we're going to do something Sunday night.

Crosstown Classic started today. Sox won 6-1. Season standings 27-14.

I have 6 hours to sleep until I have to get up to go right back to work.

I just learned what an lj cut is.

Veronica Mars has been renewed! Hooray! I don't know what I would have done without it next season. Seeing as I only watch about 2 shows religiously, VM and House, my Tuesdays would have become very boring. Just hope the ratings go up. People on TWOP are talking about how being after Gilmore Girls could really help. I've never even heard of Gilmore Girls so hell if I know.

At work we are moving into a different wing of the building on Friday. I spent a lot of today packing and throwing useless things away. La Douche, aka my boss, likes to save really old shit we never use. Seeing that he wasn't there tonight I took the opportunity to clean house. We are moving into a much nicer area which will be great.

I did all my preliminary stuff for my intership. I'll start June 5 in a mental health/cd program. Basically my work schedule will be Sun. 8-8, Mon. 8am-10pm, Tues. 8-2, Wed. 8-2, Thur. 8-7:30, Friday 8am-10pm, Sat. 8-4. I am preparing myself to be too exhausted to have any life.

( cubs )

Here's some pictures from Iowa.

The House


The kitchen


The blue room, where the two little girls who were guests of the family were murdered.


Playing rummy. There was only 1 oil lamp in each room so we had to use flashlights. It was really dark and creepy in the house.


We thought it would be a good idea to re-enact the crime using the clown of death and the ax in the house. This is one of many highly inapprorpiate photos. I think this may be why we saw no actual ghosts.


I have a lot more, but looking at pictures of rooms and people no one knows gets really boring.

I had an entire thing typed out and accidentally closed the page. fuck me and my pathetic computer skills.

The White Sox game was cancelled today...BOO! They are still first in the league though, and really that's what matters.

( VM )


I went clothes shopping today. I despise shopping but it needed to be done. Although most of the clothes I bought cannot be worn to work which sucks. If I had small boobs I could swing it, but alas I'm cursed.

My treadmill was shipped today. Thank fucking god! I will now get off my ass and lose some weight finally. If I can work out and watch tv or read at the same time I am much more likely to do it. But working out with nothing else to do is so boring, and I need to be entertained. Hence, never really doing it before.

I've noticed that I've been swearing a lot less. I really need to fix that. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

So we leave for Villisca, IA in the morning. My friends and I will be doing a "paranormal investigation" aka ghost hunting overnight at the Villisca Ax Murder House with Troy Taylor, President of the American Ghost Society. I think I am more excited about seeing my friend Will, from Kansas. It's been almost a year. It's kind of just an excuse for all of us to get together and have a reason for meeting in Iowa. Otherwise we'd be pretty lame just hanging out in Iowa. I have my EMF meter, digital voice recorder, camera and infrared thermometer packed. It's just going to suck getting up really early, driving to Iowa and then staying up all night. Although I'm thinking we should be entertained enough to stay up all night.

I tried to book a hotel nearby but they had all closed down. Now we are staying 20 miles away from where we wanted to and it still sounds like its a crap motel. Oh well, that just makes it more interesting.

I'm supposed to walk for my college graduation tomorrow, but seriously, ghost hunting or boring graduation ceremony? Yeah, that was a hard choice. People have been giving me crap about it because they think I will regret not walking. I still wish I hadn't walked for high school and people said I would regret missing that. So far the only thing I regret is actually doing it.

I hope that I come back with scratches all down my face or body, or something to prove to my skeptical co-worker that ghosts exist. He makes fun of me for this more than anyone and believes I am crazy. Although he thought that before I told him about my trip. I just want a good story.

I took some sleeping pills so hopefully I will go to bed before 4 a.m. for once.

Oh yeah, someone from TWOP e-mailed me about trying to organize a Veronica Mars viewing party for the final in Minneapolis/St. Paul. If you know anyone in the area that would want to go let me know. I only found 2 other people on TWOP from that area. It'll be the world's smallest viewing party and not nearly as cool as the big ones people are organizing, but at least I won't be watching alone.

Zygi has already made one of his first firings of the new team. It's only been a little over 3 months but Foley was a DICK. Tell me you don't think this guy deserves to be fired. I really don't like Zygi's dealings with the media though. They way he went about firing Tice and now an alleged 1 sentence press statement with this event. At least he isn't sitting on his ass like I'm sure Red McCombs would have done. I just hope the stadium issue makes some advances this year. It has been gaining some momentum.

The White Sox Won 4-1!!! I need to find tickets for the Crosstown Classic for under a few hundred. I was planning on going down the week after but may have to reschedule if I can get them. I don't trust ebay for tickets. They're out of town the ENTIRE week I'm currently planning to be there in May. God hates me.

I have been one of the most anti-livejournal people I have ever known. Veronica Mars has forced me to join. Damn you Veronica Mars! I really didn't need something else to be addicted to. I still remain loyal to my anti-myspace campaign though. My journal entries will probaby be boring and few, so feel free to ignore me.